(ˆ꜆ . ̫ . ). ̫ . ꜀ˆ)
February 14, 2026 at 7:06:20 AM
👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻Hiii
basically. fai has been thinking a looot about things over the last week or two And. i’m not sure whether online friendships are something that work for me??🥲🥲 for many reasons.
lately i’ve been feeling a lot more exhausted mentally which is leading to me Not having the energy to respond to messages or to check them, and doing so makes me feel really drained and almost bothered(?for lack of better term) i’ve also for some reason had a very intense surge in my avoidant behaviours lately and find it really hard to have any sort of connection (not that i have any others but!!!) which is probably also adding to all of that mental strain. i think that one stems from me being so used to being by myself that having friendships that are genuine for more than about a month starts to make me feel very lost and confused?? i don’t Know. also my mood is generally absolutely horrible lately and i know it isn’t nice to be around someone who’s constantly at their worst😭😭
one thing that’s really important for me in every aspect is the physical connection, i rely Heavily on that for reassurance & also to read body language and stuff to determine how someone truly feels about me because i can’t really read tone through text and not having that makes me feel really unsettled an anxious🥲🥲i Know i’m a lot better now in terms of how i handle my thoughts & view friendships since we first met though, but i do still struggle a lot with specific things and having those on my mind ontop of everything else that’s happening atm isn’t fun</3
you’ve alsooo got the whole “fai’s physical health has deteriorated a lot over the last month or so” thingy Too. so coming onto google to find ur atabook and type a response out And read through your replies to everything i’ve sent + looking at everything You’ve sent is 10times harder than before,, i spend most of my time in bed or sleeping because even simple things like talking or moving onto my side takes or even breathing too deeply so much energy, i use these really bulky wrist braces 99% of the time too now and i can barely hold my phone with them, & without them my whole arm hurts too much to do anything. ++ the thing i briefly mentioned yesterday about not feeling good mentally is because i’m now partially / half blind🙃 which ive known would happen one day since i was about 14 but have never told anyone about
but i’ve progressively lost most of the sight in my left eye and i’m currently attempting to navigate my way through everything with only one functioning eye🥲🥲aaand with the migraines coming back every so often again, using and looking at my phone makes me feel insanely sick and disoriented and generally just. eueuwgghhh
but whatever happens i do want u to know that you’ve genuinely been THE best friend ive ever ever had☹️☹️🥹 seeing your messages and even just knowing that you’re there for me makes me happier than i could ever explain. you’ve given me so much support and love since we first met, i wont ever be able to tell you just how much that means to me.🫂 you’ve 100% made my days brighter and less heavy and that’s something i’ll forever be thankful for. i hope i’ve been able to do the same for you <3 butbut!! i just wanted to write something while i felt like i had the ability to, so i didn’t blank you all of a sudden and then end up not being able to properly write an explanation for things🥹 because after everything, it’s the least i could do❤︎ i wish u the best in life and everything you do. faifai will be thinking of and rooting 4you forever until she takes her last breath. but ultimately i’m Not sure if i can keep this up any longer, and i’m so so sorry for that.🦭🩷🦦 i love u spiritoomf
(&&.. happy valentine’s day ++ shihoversary🥹💌🍜)
Replied on: February 14, 2026 at 5:22:29 PM
hi hii 🫂🩷 i read everything through and ☹️ i'm sorry it feels that way 
you're never pressured to reply to anything & i'll always give u all the time u need to do so. i do understand that it can be easily draining, so i hope that you know that there's no pressure in responding to (or reading, for the time being!! if it's too tiring <3) anything. for any reason, whether it's any avoidant behaviors or if responding seems too tiring, i'll be okay with any response or lack of it 🫂 i want you to do what's most comfortable(?) for yourself!! and I do not mind being around u at all, no matter your mood!! i'll be there to give you to the company & support that u need whenever you need it. I promise i don't mind it 
🩷 i'm so so sorry that is only being able to talk through online makes u feel that way 🫂🫂 if only i could provide that reassurance for you. i understand why you feel that need & i get how it can be such a lack of reassurance 🥲🫂 i hate how i'm unable to provide that for you.
i'm terribly sorry to hear that all of these things are happening to u aaa i totally understand that they make you unable to function properly & i hope you know that despite everything, i will always consider you as my friend. whether we're able to talk consistently or not. we don't have to talk everyday or anything too! 🥲🩷 what matters to me the most is your comfort & i want you to do what feels best for you. everything sounds so tiring & draining, but i hope that you'll always know that i'll be rooting for you, no matter how far apart we may be 🫂 i'll support you throughout everything & that'll never change. you don't have to worry about me, i promise you that too. i want you to prioritize yourself & continue to take care of yourself even when you feel like giving up. i'll forever and ever be here for you in spirit wishing you all the best. and throughout every step, i will be cheering for you. i have never known anyone else with such an amount of strength as you hold. I hope you can be proud of yourself for how far you've come, regardless of how life has been beating you. knowing that you're here means more than anything to me. i hope you can find the strength to keep on fighting. no matter what happens, to you or to us, i will always, always love you & will be your #1 supporter ever. you've made such a huge impact in my life & i will say it again and again. i am so, so so glad to have met you. you're one of the greatest people I have ever met & having you as my friend is one of my greatest treasures ever. i hope you know that i'll always be here whenever you need to run to someone. i will always be willing to wait for you no matter long it may take, so take all the time need for yourself to recover, both physically & mentally, ok? 🫂🩷 i'm sending u virtual hugs on your way. you are still my friend, and always will be, no matter what. I wish you all the best, really. i hope you know that you're not alone in this world, as long as i'm here. i'll be your best friend forever & always, and that won't change 🦦🦭🩷
