☹️☹️🦦🫂
November 6, 2026 at 5:47:33 PM
i have no idea what to say that i haven’t said a hundred times already but just know that reading through everything made me smile so hard☹️☹️ i appreciate you and everything you do for me so dearly. i hope that for future reference, i can use this as a reassurance that speaking my mind is okay ?? nothing went wrong like my brain told me it would and everything is still okay and that makes me feel really relieved. i want to keep working towards fully believing these things you tell me one day, even if it takes way longer than i’d like it to. and i want You to feel the same with me too, ok??❤︎ i will always be here and will never ever want you to deal with anything alone if i can help in any way. and i’ll happily wait for as long as it may take for you to reach that point. we’ll keep building that trust within each other for as long as possible, that’s something i can say and believe without a doubt.
honestly i feel better already anyways😭 i just have to keep trying to train myself into Not acting on the thoughts and ideas i have during the short ‘episodes’(??) i have where small things trigger me is all. it all seems so incredibly ridiculous to me Now uususwjwhwj
but i guess it’s a mixture of Two things ?? kind of. i was looking back at my old phone and stumbled across things from when you and i weren’t talking and we were going at each others throats every now and then aaand some of the things i saw made me feel really shitty basically. it’s obviously a little bit more complex than that But i don’t really like thinking about those things too much. basically i did it to myself ! Again !
along with . Something else that i somehow found myself looking through which i don’t feel like mentioning but it heavily ties into the point above so im counting it all as one thing ;’]. but i don’t really care about any of it Now so. oh well. november and march are terrible months for stuff like this because of them holding the two anniversaries of me Meeting everyone online and then quitting for the first time in march</3 the only positive is that it soon marks three years since our first interaction. Wow
i will be fine eventually, i know that, my mood swings have just been strangely intense and frequent lately because of other things going on and that’s really impacting my ability to think properly,, again i’m sorry to take it out on You, i can’t say that enough </3
just getting everything off of my chest without holding back as much as usual, even just this once is enough to make me feel less anxious?? i hope you know that🥲 i used to think that talking about the things on my mind would do nothing but make me feel worse but it’s surprisingly nicer and more relieving than i thought. thank you for slowly giving me the courage to do that :’]
now that i think about it all with a somewhat clearer head i don’t want to just. leave and loose all of the progress that we’ve made so far, because that doesn’t feel Right. i think i might see if stepping back a little bit helps me at all ?? at least just for a short while. that’s certainly better than cutting everything off without thinking things through in my head, because i know i’d regret it soon enough and i’d rather make a choice that has a much simpler resolution. i love you and our friendship too much to do that and i feel stupid for even considering it, even if i wasn’t in the right headspace at the time. and i think generally that’s easier because there isn’t That much we can have consistent deep conversations about lately is there??😭 so sticking to smaller doses rather than sending really long messages every single day just for the sake of keeping contact might be easier in the long run.. less change of things feeling overwhelming in the future that way. and i really do want to hold onto what we have now for as long as possible🥲🥲🫂
(also while i’m here.. https://i.postimg.cc/Yqkdg4Lt/IMG.jpg i went shopping today with tuxam and look🥹 we found. an Otter… and then i got a cute kittysama seal figure from a gachapon machine right after which is the one i wanted the most… ((for that specific machine, i only put enough tokens in for One little figure but i somehow got two ??! and the seal was the 2nd to roll out🥹 how strange is that…. the luck of ruriseal was on my side today..)) seals and otters are somehow always close together no matter what🦭🦦 the melody plush was super cute too i had to show you… pink cute things always remind me of You because i know you love them💝)
Replied on: November 7, 2026 at 1:58:41 PM
(hello I am back. just so u know i had this random surge of joy thingy when i saw ur msg again.. i'm so happy that you're still here , really ☹️☹️ thank you for still fighting through everything)
i want nothing more but to help you feel safe enough to think that it Is okay to talk about your feelings, no matter how stupid it may sound to you nor how sudden things happen. i think that those details are irrelevant, at least in my eyes, they do not matter as long as You are able to get them out somewhere & be heard. it will take a lot of time, but know that i am willing to wait until then 🩷 even when maybe the day you'll come to Fully trust me won't come, as long as i was able to help you believe it bit by bit, and that in these moments you can say that there Is someone that you can truly rely on, i hope that those can help you even just a little (/･ω･(-ω-)
i see, I understand now !! 🫂 i'm glad that it's not bothering you for now though ☹️ you don't have to talk about it further if it's uncomfortable for you to bring up. you can trust that whenever something like this happens again, i will be persistent as ever and will be here with you through it all. i also understand if it's especially hard for you knowing that around this time marks an anniversary for those events :'
i want you to take things extra easy & will be very glad to give you what ever you may need for the time being. (also yeah..! I didn't even notice T___T three years is such a long time 🥹🩷 i think specifically dec 7? i think? my memory may be very foggy... i want to celebrate that day with you if it's possible (/^-^(^ ^*)/)
i can't imagine how hard it must be to go through intense mood swings like that, so there's no need to apologize for something that you can't exactly control ☹️💝 i understand that sometimes some certain things can trigger these kinds of things & it makes you do irrational (?) things, and i do not ever hold any of that against you at all 🫂🩷 i'll be here until your mind completely calms down, and we can work things out again like usual. (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡ i know you'd never intentionally do things that'd "hurt" me. I'm so so sorry for making u feel the need to apologize for that:[ 🫂🫂 & i'm so happy to know that it helped you feel less anxious about things 🥹 it's one thing that I want more than anything to help you feel comfortable enough to do that, especially since i don't want you always having to hold yourself back with these stuff. having you talk about all of this made me really happy for you, and for us for talking your feelings through 🫂🩷🩷
if stepping back for a bit is what will help you the most during these times then i'll gladly give u all the space u need (/^-^(^ ^*)/ 🩷🦭🦦 i do think that sticking to less deep(?) convos for a bit can maybe help make things feel less overwhelming for you ..! it might be tiring to have to write paragraphs almost every other day like that, and i definitely do not want to have you drain ur energy like that, so i understand :'] 🩷 i will still send some posts n stuff every now n then if that's okie dokie with u ! && maybe i can also try to stick to posting rather than directly sending stuff here, so you won't exactly feel this need to give out a response. that way you can keep a comfortable distance while i'm still interacting in a way from my end :] i cherish you and our friendship a lot & will very gladly stick to what's most safe & comfortable for you all while still maintaining contact like this. (ah &&& with that being said!! pls don't feel pressured to respond to this too ^_^ just knowing u read this is enough for me. please take care lots & take all the time u need too !! eujfgkfkfj also on my god 😞🥹🥺😭😭 what cuties....!!?;$/ tell little tuxam i said hello ʕ´• ᴥ•̥`ʔ💝🩷💝 the seal Somehow magically rolling out makes me wanna sob omg???😭😭😭 ruriseal luck... i like to think it's a manifestation of our seal-otter friendship 🦦🦭 we truly are always together in every universe and in every form (＾∇＾)ﾉ♪(＾∇＾)ﾉ♪ a pink kittysama seal & a very cute my melody plushie.. eeeueuue.. ruri heaven ｡:ﾟ(;´∩`;)ﾟ:｡ that made me so happy to heareuriejfg...,,.,.,..,. i'll let u know that You remind me of the exact same things as well!!!! :,3 🩷🩷)
