o hmy God he is gorgeous. breathtaking. ritsu sakuma you will be the end of me

https://x.com/i/status/2036744902898262277?s=46 this popped up and i instantly thought of you. Wow.

thank you again, for everything🥹🥹 i think something i’ve noticed is that you’ve definitely helped me feel more comfortable with expressing these things & opening up about them which is something i’ve always found really hard. i appreciate it so much🥲🫂 a lot of these feelings are very on and off so it’s hard to make a decision about what feels the best for me,, but knowing that you’d want to stay by my side and understand things either way makes me feel a lot better.❤︎ i hope you know it’ll always be same from me to you as well, no matter what. i think i know where a lot of the things causing the issues i mentioned before start though So,, if i can somehow find ways to manage them then the overthinking and stuff shouldn’t be that intense🥹 i don’t know if sometimes i get overwhelmed with the method of how we talk because it has more steps than just verbally talking to someone or sending a basic text or something but,, despite all of that i Do want to try and keep in touch in some way like we are now;’) you’re one of the kindest and sweetest people i’ve ever spoken to and i don’t want that to all go to waste just because of my problems. but again i’m really really grateful for your patience every time something like this comes up☹️🫂 it helps a lot. it makes me so happy to know you get how i feel about shiho too ueuwhehwj🥹🥹i felt so nervous when typing that out incase i sounded too weird😭 i don’t want you to like. never talk about her for my sake,,, i suppose it’s mainly just things that imply you find her pretty or if you mention the fact that you yume her really… mentioning her and talking about how you like her as a character and all that stuff is fine!! it’d be stupid and boring if you couldn’t talk freely about one of ur favs for someone else’s sake. ruri is always the stick to your faith & purpose oomf to me…..🦭🩷 but still, thank U🥹 i’m ok with that ! (´ε｀*) coming on here and seeing the silly posts you send me that remind u of us or when you send little msgs talking about new content related to ur favs makes me happy i’ll most likely be doing the same🦦🫶🏻 you have your faiotter plushies now So..!! i will always be with u & thinking abt u in one way or another ♪ (https://x.com/i/status/2036127033072529791?s=46 have you seen these,,, shiho cursor thingies🥹)

https://x.com/i/status/2036462730056503581 🦭🦭( i realized earlier that i sent a whole new submission instead of replying to urs..sorry!! :'D)

i see,, i want you to know that you have nothing to apologize for. these are things way beyond your control & i do see that you're still trying your very best despite how it all makes u feel 🥲🩷 no matter what happens, or whatever decision you may go for, you'll still be my friend regardless, and i'll wait until you're ready to come back again. i mean it. i see how incredibly difficult everything must feel for you, and i get that it isn't going to be easy, but i want to stay by your side throughout everything 🫂 although I think it would be too selfish of me to force you to stay if it's something that could definitely worsen your mental health, and as much as i really reallyreally care for our friendship, i don't want to have you go through so much just because of that :' i care about you too much, whether it's to simply let you go, or to force yourself to stay when it's already damaging you. i've been thinking about everything lately & along with ur explanation i really don't want you to have to push thru ur limits or anything 🫂 but at the same time, i really want to try and prove to you otherwise that you Are capable of maintaining friendships. i want to stay by your side despite when things get rough. i'll do my best to understand, and i'll always be here no matter what happens. none of your feelings have ever felt burdensome to me in any way. i'm willing to understand every little bit of it if you'll let me 🫂 i'm completely alright with not getting any responses for a few days. i would've always assumed that you've been drained to respond, and won't ever take any offense in that & i'll always prioritize your health first. trust me when I say that i'm completely fine with it 🫂 but in regards of the worrying, it's only natural for me as a friend to worry about you. it isn't something that You should have to worry about too :' I'll say this again: it's never Ever a burden when it comes to you—i'll wait for as long as i need to. you don't owe me any explanations for suddenly leaving like that either if it's something that may take so much time in explaining. i also understand 🫂!! if it helps in any way, i'll refrain from initiating any conversations that may have to do anything with her unless you bring her up!! I get that it's something you've been so used to & it won't be easy to let go of habits just like that, so i'll do what ever will be best for you. this is another thing that isn't entirely in your control, and I do know how much she means to you. so even if it may sound silly, your feelings are still valid nonetheless. you don't have to feel horrible about this, i understand completely 🫂🩷 i know that you're trying to get rid of the habit & i'll do my best to make sure you won't feel uncomfortable :' 🫶🏼 i'll still check in time by time! maybe in a less frequent manner so it doesn't overwhelm you(?) 🫂 but know that i'm always be thinking of you regardless. i won't expect any replies, but hopefully that my message would go through :' 🩷 so even when we won't be talking, you'll still know that i'm here, still & always, with open arms 🫶🏼

i’m not really sure What it is because there’s so many possible factors and i don’t know how to word it in a fully understandable(?) way but. it would feel wrong to not explain things even a little bit🥲 the whole issue with my attachment and anxieties relating to that are coming back for one,, and it’s making me feel even more horrible in general because 1) it’s so hard to feel like that toward someone who lives half way across the world and 2) i almost Always end up resenting the people i gain intense attachments toward at some point or just entirely split on them act really bitchyand i don’t want that to happen to you at all :’) so i suppose it’s like leaving out of fear that i’ll hurt you at some point?? i don’t know i think(?) something similar may have been happening last night (more so aimed toward Me not You) which is why i sent that msg so suddenly and vaguely,, i’ve since calmed down again & feel “sane” enough to actually explain things Properly :,) i’m very used to being completely alone and i think i mentioned this before but you’re quite literally the first and only actual friend i’ve had since i was 8-9. so it’s really hard for me to act “normally” with that?? which could tie in with the attachment. and me being used to not having anyone makes the urge to just erase all contact with the people/person i’m speaking to so i can go back to the familiarity of being alone so much more intense, and that’s not something i’d ever want to put another person through😭 so even if i desperately want to stay friends with someone, i’m generally a very complicated person to be around and i really don’t want the burden of those complications to be put onto them, which is why it feels easier to just distance myself all together and not have to worry about affecting other people with the way that i am. i’ve also been feeling really really exhausted mentally and physically lately for absolutely no reason and it’s difficult for me to keep up with sending msgs & reading them no matter how badly i Want to do that. and the problem is i can’t tell if the exhaustion is a progression of my illness so..! i don’t want things to get bad and go inactive for a long period because of it & not be able to tell you why, and then have it look like i’ve just. left with no explanation🥲 so again, it’s kind of like a “leaving so you don’t have to put up with the worry and burden of those problems” thing. another more stupid and pathetic thing that’s making it harder for me lately is that fai’s possession towards shiho has come back!!🥲🥲 that one is a mixture between my autism making my interests a huge huge part of my life / something i depend on for security and regulation, (which leads to the defensiveness) and the fact that as weird as it Sounds shiho is the one thing in life i have full control over and have the constant security that she cannot leave me or find me too overbearing because she’s not real and i choose what she does / says when i’m writing things or thinking about her. the worst part about that is i /know/ how ridiculous and unhealthy it is because. she’s not a real thing😭😭 but i’ve always been that way with fictional characters because of the lack of real people in my life and it’s so difficult to break that habit, even if it makes me feel really insane and weird. so naturally that sort of applies to you because you also yume her and it makes me feel so horrible</3 i project all of my internal feelings onto her because i can’t hurt her with them in the same way as a real person, and that just makes me hate “sharing” her even more. shiho and leo/need’s music in general have also been the main things to help me through some of the biggest moments in my life so. it’s hard to let go of that</3 but it’s really nice to know that you’ll still be here & still class me as a friend even if we don’t talk.❤︎ it makes me happy🥹 i suppose letting it all out and rambling about it Did help so,, Thank you,, and once again, i’m so sorry for all of this ruri

hihi i quite honestly do Not think i can keep this friendship going🙃 i don’t think i’m mentally built to have bonds with other people and it’s slowly sending me insane. i’m very sorry i love you you’ve been a great friend to me but i think for my own sake i need to fully distance myself. i wish you the best

+ i'm actually not big i to aus But it sounds like a rlly cool idea... i've only lately came up with one for the time loop thing where the roles are reversed. basically instead of one character going thru the loop it's the other character,, or something. for prsk aus i think their cards can definitely help with looking for ideas 🥹 like for wd shiho you can come up with a knight x princess au thing. (i #Love that trope so much. did u know?) esp with how these kind of aus r rlly popular in cc x cc shipping in the fandom;;; projecting real life experiences is also fun. helps a lot. 👍🏼👍🏼 like taking irl events(?) with said character, switching a few things up and adding it onto ur lore. i do this a lot too :}

+++..!! responding to ur other reply ^_^ i am feeling better thank u🙃 i’ve been focusing a looot on my interests which is helping me i’m alsooo kinda yumesidering another character lately so i have that on my mind ♪ time loops sounds so Cool waaah,,, i’d love to do aus and other concepts like that someday but my brain seems to lack the creativity for stuff like that🥹💔 i’ll definitely think abt that if i ever want to ramble abt anything ehehe..!!! it’s mainly just oc designing and coming up with very basic info for now,, baby steps!!!! but it’s very fun turning my hundred different personalities into ocs. Very Fun https://x.com/i/status/2034903049148539276?s=46 cutie cutie

HHELLO I HAVENT SEEN THAT YETvvvwv??2/))2?2?2?(😭😭😭😭😭🥹🥹🥹😭🥹😭 ITS SO PERFECT WHAT THEFUCUCJCJJDJSJJ❗️❗️MYB BABY😭❗️😭 i need pigtails shiho to become real in game So bad,,,, val2027,,,,,, ueuwueywgeheheh she’s so adorable THANK U RURI😢😢🥹🥹

i dontknow if uve seen it already But my immediate thought was to send it to u.!☺️☺️☺️very fai coded 🩷

https://x.com/i/status/2035198983052959992 faifafaiaiivgkevlhLOOK LOOK😭😭😭🐰 CUTIE BUNNY SHIICHAN IN PIGTAILS. I REPEA,T

https://x.com/i/status/2034425874796450072?s=46 ruri on my tl….??!!!????🦭🦭🦭

eueueueueuee he’s so cute…… and thank u again🥲🥲🫂 i’m glad to hear you’re doing well!! i agree… yumelore daydreaming is very fun….💭💭 when my brain decides to actually Work that is.☺️ i’ve been doing a lot of similar stuff lately Actually ♪ finally doing something with my tsukasa oc x canon after like two years We all cheered….. https://x.com/i/status/2034669952809177219?s=46 shihosaki cherries for U🍒🍒

https://x.com/i/status/2034570583183421776 CHII 🥺🥺🥺